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Writer's pictureIkuko Abe

Top tips for intimacy


These are some of the tips I hear from couples that have worked at their long term relationship that contribute to a sense of closeness and intimacy. Previously they’ve grown distant and felt detached from their partners but by adopting these tips, they’ve closed the gap and created intimacy and contentment in their relationships. Relationships need maintenance and hard work to thrive. Here’s an easy guide on how to get started.


Tip 1: Schedule “couple time” once a week. And actually talk and listen to each other. No distractions: no phones, no TV, no kids or pets. Some couples prefer to be at home in the evening, others prefer to go out for a Sunday coffee in a local cafe or going for a walk.


Tip 2: Keep in contact throughout the week. Text, call, email to keep each other up to date with activities and events that concern both of you and your family. I hear this a lot, most people don’t like feeling caught out on a daily/weekly basis, especially when they’re already busy.


Tip 3: Find a fun hobby. When you are having fun together, that’s when you remember what it was like when you first met. If you don’t share a hobby, try something new, like salsa dancing, a cookery course, play tennis, pottery or learn a new language. It’s not all about work to pay the bills.


Tip 4: Eat together at least once a week. When you’re both busy, your schedules might not align and you might miss each other and your news. If you make it a habit to sit down and enjoy a meal together, it’s likely to add to a sense of closeness.


Tip 5: Date night. Plan a date night once a month. So many couples say they like the idea of date nights but hardly ever carry through on their plans and wishes. By spending quality time together when you’re both relaxed, it’s bound to increase closeness and intimacy, and a sense of togetherness.

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