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  • Ikuko

New perspective on a setback

“You’d rather change the outside world than do the inner work of altering your response to it.”

Blaming, complaining, comparing, judging, criticising others is usually much easier than reflecting, introspecting and analysing our own thoughts, feelings and behaviours and then correcting our responses and actions. I believe we do this because it’s harder to admit and acknowledge to ourselves and then to change our familiar patterns.

Also it’s easier to think we can influence, control or otherwise change people, it somehow seems more enjoyable and controllable.

For me the opposite is true, in the end. I start off looking outwards and try to change the external before turning inward. After much resistance and drama, I start inwardly reflecting, in other words introspecting.

If I can open my heart, be still and listen to my higher self, I find that the answers come like downloads and they don’t feel so intense or resistant. The wisdom I receive are usually simple. I felt hurt, so I said mean things, instead of being compassionate to myself; I wanted to be heard so I shouted, instead of asking; I was controlling because I was projecting my loss of control, instead of sitting with the discomfort, etc.

In the end all we want as human beings is to connect with each other and have meaningful conversations, and each of us need to ask ourselves “Would this action make me feel closer to or more distant from the other?”

“Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.” – Rumi

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